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Why having your birthday on Valentine's Day stinks!


It's something that I can never change, but no matter what I still can't stand it.Dead Cupid photo: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v465/pweifenbach/cupidshot.jpg

Having your birthday on Valentine's Day is a REAL drag. It's almost as bad as having your birthday on Christmas (or right around it). While my older sister has the very cool Halloween birthday that brings back fun memories filled with trick or treating and costume parades in grade school, I get stuck with the most over-hyped, overcommercialized, pretentious Hallmark holiday known to man.

To have a holiday just to show someone you care about them is pretty lame in my opinion. For a girl, I would imagine this is pretty neat for a birthday. For a guy, don't even begin to rationalize for me how this is cool. The presence of hearts, flowers, and boxes of candy everywhere is kind of nauseating, and makes it kind of tough for February 14th to just be "your birthday."

You can have a good or bad birthday either way just because of Cupid. In high school, it was liking the girl who liked the class president instead of you. Other years, it's breaking up with your girlfriend on this day because she ditched you on it.

Maybe I'll get married one day, maybe I won't, but you will NEVER find me proposing to a girl on my birthday. No way. If she says no, that's a birthday you truly will never forget for all the wrong reasons. Yeah, let's go have birthday cake after that! On certain occasions, you can't help but wonder what that certain someone you actually like but haven't told them is doing on that day (or maybe you don't want to know!!), but it's all because Hallmark and their cronies start to have a psychological impact on your libido. Even when it normally is no big deal.

Don't get me wrong, many birthdays have been really great and will stand out for years to come. There was my 16th birthday when my family threw me a surprise party. And to top it off, a girl asked ME to my sophomore dance. Needless to say I felt like the stud of all studs for about a week- and if you saw me back then, you'd know that was a stretch of gargantuan proportions. Or when I turned 30, and family and friends all flew out to Vegas. That was a trip we ALL still talk about, even though the memories are very cloudy. Sometimes, it's not exactly "What happens in Vegas," as opposed to "What you remember in Vegas"..........

If Valentine's Day is your birthday, you plan your birthday around your friends. There are some notable exceptions. My friend Rich's wife Kelly shares my birthday and last year we all hung out, which was very cool. As you get older, you will find that your friends (male and female) are married with kids, and if you want to even think about going out for a few celebratory drinks, you build your schedule around them and when they aren't taking their significant other to dinner.

After these plans are finalized, you manage to go to the bar with your friends and see all kinds of single women on Valentine's Day. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know they are single, or that their boyfriend just doesn't give a crap. I've literally gotten a girl's number at the bar on my birthday, only to have her then break down shortly afterwards telling me not to call her because she had a boyfriend, and was going through a "rough patch" and had a "moment of weakness." If you're human, half decent looking, and with a pulse, chances are that you, your friends, and the single ladies across the room are both looking at each other. Do you talk to them just for the sake of talking to them? Who wants to deal with that when you just wanna have a beer and it's your birthday? You may be there just to put a few back and may not be in the mood to talk to anyone at all. Using the "My birthday is on Valentine's Day" pickup line is a great when you're 22- but at 32, not so much.

As far as relationships go, I've actually only had a few relationships that have fallen on my birthday, so the pressure of making it a "Great Valentine's Day" isn't something I've had to worry about too much. You can't be too pretentious with this Hallmark stuff or it comes off fake. The problem with Valentine's Day is the whole "forced holiday to show someone you like them" nonsense. To certain girls, they don't care and think it's ridiculous. Other girls want the five star treatment, which is a little high maintenance and at times seem a little too "Fairy tale"-like. Some are in between. Personally, my preference is for the former, but that's why there's chocolate and vanilla. If you actually like spending time with person you're with, it doesn't matter either way. In saying that, here's a novel idea that will send chills down the spine of every Hallmark card store and candy shop owner everywhere: if you like somebody, how about showing them you like them all the time? Then again, forgive me if I start making sense.

So that's my humorous (albeit realistic) but cautious take on having a birthday on Valentine's Day. So this weekend, despite all of the "hoopla" involving that guy with the arrow, I once again will try to look past it, and for now plan on celebrating my birthday. JUST that. And this weekend, there's a VERY good chance of celebrating both.

So Happy Valentine's Day everyone, but Happy Birthday to me.

Contact Joe Vallee or send him birthday wishes at jvallee@philly2philly.com