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Valentine's Day 2012: Top Five Horror Films to Watch


human centipedeLet’s put it this way, roses aren’t the only thing that run red on Valentine’s Day. Yes, it’s a day to celebrate amour across the land, and love is in the air. However, does that really mean we all need to suffer through another desperate Channing Tatum or Katherine Heigl romantic comedy (hell no!) A good, scary, bloody horror movie can just evoke just as much emotion as a chick flick, and your date will likely end up in your lap by the end credits. Take a low below at five unconventional Valentine’s Day flicks that will get your heart pumping.

5.The Human Centipede
The Human Centipede is the ultimate fetish film. It really gave new meaning to a certain sexual position (Google it), not to mention has already become a cult classic. Essentially a queasy horror flick about a mad scientist who kidnaps three tourists and sews them together, it’s guaranteed to get everyone squirming. When the “centipede” finally gets to walk, there’s definitely a bit of kinkiness amidst the terror. This one’s for brave viewers only, and you may want to save the chocolate for after the film’s over.

4. High Tension
Also known as Haute Tension, this French shocker put director Alexandre Aja on the map, who then went on helm The Hills Have Eyes remake. Without my bloody valentinegiving much away, the film is a love story of sorts, as a young girl races to stop a psychopath that breaks into her friend’s house and abducts her, after unleashing a bloodbath on the family. The film became famous in France and even had a US release. It’s in subtitles, but make no mistake, it will still scare the crap out of you.

3. Fear
Of course, you could take the easy route here and go with some of the classics of this genre such as Fatal Attraction or Single White Female. However, how come Fear never gets any love? It stars a pre-famous Reese Witherspoon as a naïve teenage girl pursued by the bad boy Mark Wahlberg, who has some very unstable tendencies it turns out. There’s plenty for the ladies to stare at here, but this is hardly a chick flick so guys will be enthralled as well. Yes, we all know how it ends, but its compulsively watchable, if only for a memorable scene in which Marky Mark carves “Nicole 4 Eva” into his chest with a knife.

2.My Bloody Valentine
My Bloody Valentine is essentially a remake of the cheesy 80’s flick by the same name. Either version works, but the updated one is a little more fun. The film follows a slew of murders that start plaguing a town at the same time a local man is released from an insane asylum. During all the slashings, he falls back in love with his old girlfriend, who is being pursued by a new flame. This holiday themed scare flick is overall more fun than terrifying, but there are still plenty of broken hearts (and bones) to go around here.

Valentine is the best slasher film the 80’s never had. Released circa 2001, it’s incredibly cheesy stuff that borrows from other horror movies of the period including Scream and Urban Legend. The film revolves around a masked killer donning a cupid mask (not a joke) who dispatches women that were cruel to him as a kid. This film is bittersweet chocolate in all the right and wrong ways. It also features romantic comedy wannabe Katherine Heigl (pre Grey’s Anatomy), Charlie Sheen’s ex Denise Richards (#winning!) and David Boreanz. Valentine is so-bad-its-good cinema, so having some champagne first will make the experience even better.           

Contact Jim Teti at jteti@philly2philly.com 

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Human centipede photos-IFC
Fear- Universal
My bloody Valentine- Lionsgate