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10 Absurd Questions with The Absolute Zeroes!



6/2 Silk City - 9 PM 
435 Spring Garden Street
Philadelphia, PA
  6/20 Connie's Ric Rac - 9 PM
1132 S. 9th Street (Italian Market)
Philadelphia, PA
  7/18 Tritone - 9 PM
1508 South Street
Philadelphia, PA


Since their current lineup formation in March 2007, the band has rocked such Philly venues as World Cafe Life, Tin Angel and Doc Watson's just to name a few. They released their debut EP in November 2007, which is currently available worldwide on iTunes. In July 2008, the band was a finalist in the 93.3 WMMR "Open for Coldplay Contest", finishing in the top 15 of over 500 entries. And if THAT'S not enough, they signed with Saint Joseph's University indie label SJU Records in March (formerly known as The Hawk Will Never Die Records but currently going through a name change). Needless to say, their track record speaks for itself.

We recently sat down with lead singer Kelvin Cochrane, bassist Steve La Monica, and drummer Bill Rose to talk about life as musicians, cereal and Wham!

1. For starters, who gets the most groupies in the band?

Kelvin: Bill, Austin (guitarist Austin Madert) , and Steve.  I'm not bitter you know.

Steve: I think that would be Kelvin, especially at our Tritone open mic nights every Tuesday.  They love that British swagger I guess.

Bill: I don't think we have any groupies....nope, we don't. If we ever did, probably Kelvin.

2. Kelvin I have never been to Britain, but it seems that the dental plan over there has changed drastically and for the better. Why is that?

Kelvin: It's due to the improvement of the national diet, mate.  We no longer subsist on boiled mutton and gruel but have taken on new and exciting dietary improvements like fresh fruit and vegetables.  In short, food that requires teeth to eat it rather than rotten gums to mash it into a swallowable pulp!!  Oh and you're lucky you got any answer on that at all.  The words Dental and Plan are not in my vocabulary as anyone can plainly see by looking at me.

3. Bill I have to ask you from one drummer to another, do your band mates:

A. Make you set up and breakdown the kit all by yourself? - For the most part, yes. Except for Steve, he TRIES to help but he still can't figure out how to dissemble that damn hi-hat stand.

B. Reject ALL of your new songs. I never really had any songs for my own, but if I did I don't think they would reject all of them. 
C. Constantly applaud you for your drumming prowess. Sometimes, yes. Sab (late percussionist Sabu Rex)  used to compliment me the most while he was around.
D. Complain that your either playing too slow or way too fast. Absolutely! Yes, all the time! 
4. After you're finished your set, do you guys ACTUALLY stick around to see the next band play?  Or do you pack the van, collect your money, and get out of dodge?

Kelvin:  We try and stick around to check other people out.  None of us have this "diva" attitude so common in our profession, and when you're on the receiving end of such rudeness it kinda wounds our sensitive egos y'know?  So we do the right thing.  Plus we usually play with really good bands

Steve: We pretty much stay the entire time.  I can't stand when bands pack their shit and just leave right away.  It's just good form and good for networking. Believe me, bands and promoters notice when people just pack up and leave and it plays into getting another gig I think cause when you leave, so do your fans. And then the rest of the bands are playing to a room with much less people.

Bill: Some of us go, some of us stay. If the bands after us really suck, that's all the more reason to leave, but we like to be respectful most of the time because we HATE it when bands pull that shit on us. Kelvin usually likes to stay to try and bang chicks/get drunk, and I'm usually Kelvin's ride home, so I end up staying.

5. Out of everyone in the band, who is the most likely to smash their instrument over a band mate's head in a fit of rage?

Kelvin:  I think any one of us would be capable of that given the right (wrong?) situation.  Bill definitely has the most hissy fits but the rest of us cool, laid back folks are the ones to watch out for when they finally break!!!

Steve: That is Bill without a doubt, haha.  Though I have been known to lose my temper as well.

Bill: I know everyone else's answer was going to be "Bill" so I'll just go with that too.

6. Steve, what channel do you prefer for your choice of news? CBS 3, Action News, NBC 10, or Fox?

NBC 10....for Hurricane Schwartz obviously!

7. Who in the band would be the most likely to superglue themselves to.........themselves?

Kelvin: That would be me.

Steve: Kelvin, and superglue isn't such a bad idea since he is constantly losing shit!

Bill: Kelvin

8. Steve, there is a "not so quiet" rumor around town that you can date up to seven girls at one time and none of them will know a thing about any of the other six. Can you share your secret to all the guys out there?

Kelvin: You've just got to date poor, sad, lonely, desperate women!!!

Steve: That's not true! (laughs)

Bill: I think I know what it is....his goatee beard thing. 

9. Who is the most likely to have Boo Berry cereal in their cabinet?

Kelvin: I have no idea what that is but it sounds like something Bill would eat.

Steve: F, that.  It's all about Frakenberry!

Bill: Kelvin. Not sure if they would be for himself or for his daughter. 

10. And finally, what in the HELL was the purpose of that "other guy" in Wham!?  (Andrew Ridgeley)

Kelvin:  To make George Michael look talented.  Maybe it was a publicity stunt.  First start wild rumors that they're gay and like to snoodle for the express purpose of denying the story and therefore gaining valuable tabloid space.  I mean, George Michael.....GAY?  Preposterous.

Steve: Comic relief?

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