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Did you ever have that awkward run in with an old friend or acquaintance and they inevitably ask the poignant question “What have you been up to?”, and you got nuthin’?   Or at least after having asked them the same question and hearing how they single handedly returned Siam to a self- governing nation, and re-populated a small village in Uganda with flax seed and honey, you don’t feel very comfortable about your own accomplishments.
This plagues me all of the time, and it’s not because I want to get into a “pissing contest” with someone over who’s making more of their life, but I succumb to an immediate intimidation that I haven’t accomplished anything TRULY purposeful.   Obi Wan photo: spatiallyadjusted.com

It’s such a subjective word; “purposeful”.  A purposeful accomplishment in one day to a person may be to run a marathon, and maybe to another walk at all.  I’m going to try to not fall into this Jedi Mind Trick anymore and immediately filter through an internal rolodex for the most impressive fact about myself when asked.

The bottom line is if I have to dig to find purpose, then I don’t have the definition of PURPOSE correct.  I don’t know what the definition is because, truth be told, it differs between us all.  My perspective is going to attempt to from now on when asked “what have you been up to?” rather than focusing on all the classic standards I haven’t accomplished, like marriage and children, I’ll find deeper value and pride in what I have.  

Just recently I ran into a friend who I haven’t seen in over ten years. I asked the common question of him and “well I just completed two tours in Iraq, finished special agent training with the US States Department and function as a liaison in the foreign affairs division specifically.”  Um…wow.  When it was my turn I immediately got intimidated and desperately took inventory of what I’ve been doing, and at that moment my catalogue felt so empty that I almost found myself commenting on my new found ability to make really really good deviled eggs. I had nuthin.’  But it shouldn’t have been true and here’s where the purposeful concept really is tested, because with all of the grandiose valor and impressive recent activities he listed, he never mentioned his newborn son. I had come across this information through a third party and was whole heartedly expecting to hear this bit of news, and it never came.  

I don’t know why it was never mentioned, maybe he thinks that is a piece which “scares” off women, or maybe he holds that fact the MOST purposeful and doesn’t see the advantage of using it as a chit-chat item. Whatever the reason, it was obvious interpretation that what is purposeful differs.

We all have accomplishments, just be sure you’re not allowing your own to get lost in any other shadows because there will be those who cast a far and wide fog, and it’s easy to lose sight of them. You know what they are, so don’t let them get downplayed, especially by yourself.  It’s not so simple to learn how to be your “biggest fan,” but at least make more attempts to not be your own worst enemy.  

Ladies, ever wonder where the phrase "tapped that" originated?  Fella's, ever wonder if girls had slumber parties with nighties and pillow fights?  Yeah, well me too.  The Vagina MonoBlogs takes a proactive but honest point of view on some of these timeless questions and offers some perspectives to apply...or avoid for that matter!

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Contact Brandi Conrow at brandi.conrow@hotmail.com

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Obi Wan photo: spatiallyadjusted.com