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One of my favorite movies when I was little (and I am sure it was yours too), was The Goonies.  Goonies photo: guardian.co.ukAll of you who recall this movie knows it had everything; action, friendship, a cute little story of puppy love, and a happy ending which highlights the triumph of good over greed.  

I sat down a few Sunday’s ago and The Goonies were on TV and I had to watch.  I was expecting the same rush of entertainment to come over me as it did when I was a kid. Instead, I kind of found myself desensitized and a little bored (except for when he does the Truffle Shuffle. That’s awesome).  

It really made me start to wonder what happened between then and now that results in me not really enjoy a movie anymore that boasts childhood imagination, curiosity, and a sober Corey Feldman?  I realized that my expectations have moved onward.  I wouldn’t necessarily say “up-ward” when it comes to TV considering I’m pretty much entertained by anything beginning with “the Real Housewives of…” 

 

But this got me thinking about all of us and our expectations in general. We’ve all been in relationships that may have ended, and when we move onto the next relationship we bring with us these expectations, knowing full well that the characters changed. Is this really fair in the long haul?  In doing so I think what we cloud is the difference between expectations and standards.  For me, I’ve found the best way to tell the difference is to know that expectations can change, standards shouldn’t as often, they should evolve with you.  "Why don't you try knocking me down?!"  photo: blingcheese.com

As an example, I want to always keep the standard for a relationship in my life to be that we laugh with each other more than we argue. And my expectation is not that they hold the same standard, but respect it. However, my past expectation that “he’s got to love all the Rocky movies” (minus Rocky V) is not one any longer.  

I came to the understanding it’s just not my place to assume everyone appreciates semi-illiterate boxers starting in the best music montages ever. These have been modified over time and I’m hoping I’ve changed with them, otherwise what would have been the purpose in going through any life experiences?  Our standards are as individual as a social security number, they were created by what you heard, you saw, you need, you wanted in a person in your life. They’re good for you! They keep you in a clear place to see what are deal-breakers in your relationships and what are battles worth fighting for and taking a stand on. It’s that mature balance of weighting “worth it” and “not worth it.”

This doesn’t mean that everyone has good standards for the people in their life. I mean, how many friends do you have who you are constantly saying “you’re better than this, don’t lower your standards”?  I used to say it all the time, until I realized, I can’t change her standards nor can I assume they’re the same as mine.  I wasn’t judging that my standards were “more right,” I just came to a point of recognizing that mine were made from my life choices and my life experiences, and the same goes for her.    

And how’s this for coming full circle: after pondering the concept of evolving standards and fleeting expectations, I realize that’s BASICLLY what the Goonies was all about!  These kids had expectations of “rich stuff” and fortune being found in this attempt to save their home. In the end their standards grew and evolved, they became friends outside their usual circles. They also got to ride a wicked water slide, but I couldn’t tie that point into the theme of the article.

However, an honorable mention should still be made.

Ladies, ever wonder where the phrase "tapped that" originated?  Fella's, ever wonder if girls had slumber parties with nighties and pillow fights?  Yeah, well me too.  The Vagina MonoBlogs takes a proactive but honest point of view on some of these timeless questions and offers some perspectives to apply...or avoid for that matter!

Contact Brandi Conrow at brandi.conrow@hotmail.com 

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Goonies photo: guardian.co.uk

Rocky photo: blingcheese.com