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I was having a quick brunch with a girlfriend, and she was talking rather candidly with me about her ‘sexcapades’ with her new beau. She was telling me where, how often, how so, foreplay, all play, role play, all of it.  I sat and listened to her and was genuine happy for her and he as they were obviously enjoying one another immensely, and then some.  Photo: James Estrin/The New York Time

I was sipping my mimosa when an older woman, she had to be in her late 60’s, came over to our table and said, “Excuse me, but I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation.” I immediately thought about the most recent items of discussion and was wondering if she heard my friend recant their game of “on the loose circus monkeys” (Don’t ask. I didn’t even want the details). We turned around and my friend politely said “I’m sorry were we too loud.  I have a tendency to forget my indoor voice sometimes.”

She looked at us both and with a small smile said “Oh, no you weren’t too loud, I just wanted to tell you that I find your sexually perverted antics shameful and you alone could be the reason that this world is going to hell in a hand basket.”

Now  A) I’ve always hated that phrase because I don’t know what the hell a hand basket is. If they mean a ‘purse,’ they should say “purse,’ and  B) From what realm of the universe did this woman hail in which it was acceptable to judge someone so harshly and unleash such wicked statements unprovoked?  I stared dumbfounded at the “cohunes” on this woman. Granted, there were some stories told involving a glue stick and rain ponchos (which were relayed and I still haven’t decided if it’s worth the reoccurring mental image,) but no matter what degree of “R Rated” material she was dishing, this woman (in my opinion) had no place to judge anyone.

My friend may be a sexually driven woman (and as Ludacris would say “a freak in the bed”), but it does not open the gates of judgment from strangers or friends for that matter.  We are all entitled to practice our own virtues and forge our own paths through whatever methods we choose. Some will be good for us, some learning experiences, but all in all they will be OUR own choices. The constant negative judgment needs to be curbed back so we can again begin to recognize the fundamental beauty in those who “wax the car” a bit differently than you.  I really don’t want to believe that we’ve reached a place as a society that we’re cool with just walking up to total strangers, judging them, and then TELLING them to boot. We all are guilty of judging in our heads and hearts, but when you take that a step further and tell someone of your angst for them who you know nothing of, my God where else is there to go from here?   

By no means am I saying I never judge someone, I totally do. I’m just saying after being approached by such a brazen individual, it really made me think about how that kind of negativity adds nothing to the world. I do have to say the positive which did come out of being approached and reprimanded by the Hall Monitor was that it forced me to recognize my own judgmental tendencies and take a step back before I dive right into an opinion. I don’t know where they’ve been in their lives, or what drives them.

And who knows?  We could have been rehearsing a play…or scripting some freaky porn. 

Ladies, ever wonder where the phrase "tapped that" originated?  Fella's, ever wonder if girls had slumber parties with nighties and pillow fights?  Yeah, well me too.  The Vagina MonoBlogs takes a proactive but honest point of view on some of these timeless questions and offers some perspectives to apply...or avoid for that matter!

Contact Brandi Conrow at brandi.conrow@hotmail.com

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Photo: James Estrin/The New York Time