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I met a guy about a month ago who really seemed to be quite a prince charming.  He was a lawyer, good looking, and appropriately aged (this means he Qbert photo: g42.orgwas old enough to get my joke/reference to Q*bert, and mature enough to not know who I was speaking of when I made a comment about Justin Bieber).  After speaking for an evening he asked for my telephone number and I obliged. He immediately called me the next day and we spoke for a while, pretty long by “first phone call” standards. I gave him some sound advice I could tell he really needed and for that I think he was grateful. 

Well, I know he was grateful. To show his gratitude he sent me a text message immediately following our conversation of his six-pack abs.   

Many issues with this: A) at first glance, I couldn’t make out what in the hell this was a picture of. I was actually concerned that it was his junk and that he had a Nike “swoosh” tattooed on it.  I had to have someone else look at this picture and explain it to me as if I was looking at a sonogram. B) The whole thing was way too “Situation” for me.  He’s pulling up his own shirt to reveal his signature AB-alanche of pride.  C) It was really presumptuous of him to assume I would find this flattering or sexy, and came off kinda creepy in the long run. 

Of course, this whole situation (no pun intended there) immediately launched the red flags of narcissism, but other than that it got me grandly thinking about the standards for telling a girl you like them and OH how they’ve changed.  We all remember being in the 3rd grade and Johnny would punch you in the arm, or push you in the hall, only to have it revealed later (through a note where as you should circle “YES” or “NO” to confirm) that he in fact likes you. Situation photo: wetpaint.com

As a kid, I found that stuff to be ludicrous, but it sure made a lot more sense to me than Captain Ab-Slide sending me a candid of his physique as a hint to his intentions and/or affections. I just want to find a place in a time where we all, guys and girls alike, capture that value and the innocence of the first meetings again. That time is so short compared to the possibility of a lifetime that I look forward to each one of the moments. Because, if a relationship does bloom, it’s only a matter of time before you are forced to then see those sides of one another that don’t come out on a first, second, or third date.  And you all know you’ve got some of these sides!  I just don’t see the point in rushing through this phase. I know we’re in a different age of technology and chivalry now-a-day, but I still need to believe that we practice standard respect and consideration for those we meet and “like.”

Getting to know me is the best part about me. It’s the best part of you. Your family is bored with you, and your friends know you backwards and frontwards by this point. Get back into the habit of enjoying the nuance of relationship.  It’s a hell of a lot of fun to have someone new come along who’s never heard about your family trip to the place where celling fans are made, or you’re intense fear of sporks!  

After the incident with AB-raham Lincoln above, I decided there is nothing wrong with having adult standards, especially if you are an adult. Just because we’re not living in an era anymore where a man would place his coat over a puddle for a woman, we can still move in the direction where the “getting to know you phase” is a cherished time again.  

Ladies, ever wonder where the phrase "tapped that" originated?  Fella's, ever wonder if girls had slumber parties with nighties and pillow fights?  Yeah, well me too.  The Vagina MonoBlogs takes a proactive but honest point of view on some of these timeless questions and offers some perspectives to apply...or avoid for that matter!

Contact Brandi Conrow at brandi.conrow@hotmail.com

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Q*bert photo: g42.org

Situation photo: wetpaint.com