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Charles Rangel Corruption, Jennifer Aniston Stalker, Theo Ratliff Signs With Lakers, And Phillies Defeat Cardinals

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The Omelette Thursday July 22nd: 

Former Philadelphia Sixer Theo Ratliff got a job.  Nope this isn't a misprint.  He actually signed with the World Champion L.A. Lakers. Ratliff is a shell of his former shelf from when he played in Philly until 2001.  He averaged a whopping 3.6 points and 3.2 rebounds in 49 games last year.

West Norriton nutcase and Jennifer Aniston stalker named Jason Peyton couldn't help himself so he attempted to drive cross-country to meet his favorite actress.  Fortunately the cops caught this guy before he got too far. Peyton wanted to have Jennifer Aniston's children and also thinks he is the king of Italy.  He had quite a plan to win her over, bringing along duct tape and a sharp object while waiting at a place where he thought she would show up at. What a catch.

And, this is a shock, New York Congressman Charles Rangel was found to have broken some ethics rules.  No way, a Democrat from New York will be involved in a political scandal.  Not like that hasn't happened before.

Tonight your Philadelphia Phillies finally won a friggin' game. They defeated the St. Louis Cardinals in 11 innings 2-0.  Word is the Cards are also interested in Roy Oswalt.

Finally, Jamie Moyer may have pitched for the final time in the bigs.  NBC 10's Vai Sikihema reported tonight that he may be out for the season with an injured elbow. Think the Phils could use Cliff Lee now?