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Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's Rallies Are The Perfect Answer To Glenn Beck's "Whitestock"


water cooler logoFinally the left is ready to take it to Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, and the Tea Party. Jon Stewart announced on The Daily Show Thursday night that he is planning a "Rally to Restore Sanity" in Washington D.C. on October 30th.

And, get this - the Rally to Restore Sanity will take place on the Washington Mall, the same location as Glenn Beck's Restoring Honor Rally.

Glenn Beck's Restoring Honor Rally, also known as "Whitestock" by many was ostensibly meant to honor our soldiers. In reality, this was a Tea Party Rally held on the same date as Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream Speech" and in the same location. Beck denied this was the intent, but that's a boldface lie obviously.

Alas, Jon Stewart has the answer to the Restoring Honor Rally. Stewart announced Thursday night:

“We will gather on the National Mall in Washington, D.C., a million-moderate march where we take to the streets to send a message to our leaders and our national media that says, ‘We are here, We are only here until six though, because we have a sitter.’”

Fellow Comedy Central host, Stephen Colbert has a rally of his own planned in D.C on October 30th, called the "March to Keep Fear Alive" rally. Colbert announced on his website that the "March To Keep Fear Alive Rally" is meant to fight Jon Stewart’s creeping reasonableness and to restore truthiness.”

On the official website for the Rally to Restore Sanity, they are looking "for the people who jon stewart rally to restore sanitythink shouting is annoying, counterproductive, and terrible for your throat; who feel that the loudest voices shouldn't be the only ones that get heard; and who believe that the only time it's appropriate to draw a Hitler mustache on someone is when that person is actually Hitler. Or Charlie Chaplin in certain roles."

On Stephen Colbert's March to Keep Fear Alive official site, Colbert (with his trademark sarcasm and wit) states: "America, the Greatest Country God ever gave Man, was built on three bedrock principles: Freedom. Liberty. And Fear -- that someone might take our Freedom and Liberty. But now, there are dark, optimistic forces trying to take away our Fear -- forces with salt and pepper hair and way more Emmys than they need. They want to replace our Fear with reason. But never forget -- "Reason" is just one letter away from "Treason." Coincidence? Reasonable people would say it is, but America can't afford to take that chance.

So join The Rev. Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. on October 30th for the "March to Keep Fear Alive"™ in Washington DC. Pack an overnight bag with five extra sets of underwear -- you're going to need them. Because, to Restore Truthiness we must always... Shh!!! What's that sound?! I think there's someone behind you! Run"

Ultimately, Stewart and Colbert have the perfect answer for Glenn Beck's Restoring Honor Rally. The Rally to Restore Sanity and the March to Keep Fear Alive are anything but pretentious. Neither Stewart or Colbert wants to fool themselves into believing they are saving the country from impending doom (which we are far from). Stewart and Colbert are taking the opportunity to organize rallies for Democratic supporters. October 30th will be a day for Democrats and blue bloods to have fun and show America and the world that Tea Partiers aren't the only ones who can organize on the Mall in D.C.

Contact Dennis Bakay at dbakay@philly2philly.com