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5,000 Dead Birds and 100,000 Dead Fish in Arkansas Must Mean The Apocalypse is Coming Right?

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People are going ape over news of 5,000 dead birds found in Arkansas, which fell from the sky shortly before the ball dropped at midnight.

Doctors are saying that the birds died due to trauma. Gee you think? You think if birds fall out of the sky and hit the ground they might have died from trauma? Tell us something we don't know. The verdict on the 5,000 dead birds thus far goes as follows:

 "Further tests will be done to rule out other causes, but the birds suffered from acute physical trauma leading to internal hemorrhage and death. There was no sign of any chronic or infectious disease," the report said, according to the game and fish commission.

According to CNN they are saying dead birds were found in Lousiana. 500 more red wing carcasses were discovered.

As if that's not enough to make you shake in your trousers, 100,000 dead fish turned up in a river in Arkansas.

This is starting to sound like the plot to the Paul Thomas Anderson film "Magnolia" - a masterpiece of his from 1999. In the film, frogs fall from the sky and many other odd occurences happen particularly in the beginning of the film. I won't spoil it for you, but check it out if you haven't seen it.

Just what pray tell is going on Arkansas? Orinthologist Karen Rowe cites a lightning strike as a possible cause or even fireworks. But, does lightning strike flocks of birds twice in four days? This sounds a little fishy to me. No pun intended. While I won't say this is the apocalypse, perhaps some type of poisoning is to blame. Of course I'm not a scientist and don't claim to be.

Added to that, there's the dead fish found in a river. Maybe these crazy events are a series of odd circumstances that are wound together like the plot in Magnolia. Or, maybe it's something else...paranormal. Perhaps SyFy's Josh Gates should get on the case.

Contact Dennis Bakay at dbakay@philly2philly.com