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Steve O discusses the Phillies, the BP Oil Spill, Tony Hayward, and Kevin Costner!

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“Oh where, oh where has my little dog gone?

Oh where, oh where can he be?”

Yes folks, the reports of my demise (were there ever actually any reports?)Chase Utley photo by Tom Mihalek: http://www.kansascity.com/2010/06/18/2028166/howard-utley-power-phillies-past.html have been greatly exaggerated. Something tells me Vallee and Bakay didn’t even notice I wasn’t around. Joe’s too busy deciding what bridge to jump off after the Phillies are officially eliminated from playoff contention. And Dennis is all wrapped up in his latest cause, something to do with the unfair treatment of people who suffer from defecaloesiophobia – the fear of painful bowels movements, as if you didn’t know.

So, it’s been a while since my last foray and I will certainly not attempt to rehash ALL that has transpired since I checked in last, but please allow me a few minutes to get some things off my chest…

The Phillies are… the New England Patriots  redux. Sort of. Stay with me here…

From 2001-2007, the Patriots were the best team in the NFL. Period. They were a model of consistency, making the playoffs every year, appearing in four Super Bowls and winning three. Then came 2008. A pre-season pick to return to the Super Bowl, they failed to make the playoffs.

Yes, I know that Mr. Bundchen was hurt in the very first game and missed the rest of the season. But, if you recall, Matt Cassel filled in quite admirably and the last time I checked, TB didn’t play defense. Point being they had a down year in more ways than one.

I realize the Pats level of gold standard-ness (at least it appears that way so far) lasted longer than the Phils run (2 years and counting) but there if you look at this objectively and as a whole and with your head slightly tilted, you will see the similarities.

Clearly we are way beyond “that’s baseball” in trying to explain this phunk the Phillies are hopefully coming out of, because we are way past “it’s still early.”

Have they fallen victim to the curse of Cliff Lee?Cliff Lee....we miss you!!!!

Could this be complacency?

Is it a hangover?

Is it the loss of Jimmy Rollins?

Or maybe, just maybe they’re not as good as we all thought they would be…

As for my thoughts on the BP Oil Spill… where do I start?

What number are we up to regarding the latest solution BP has in store to stop the leak? I’m sorry, I lost track.

Question: What does BP stand for?

Answer: Absolutely nothing.

The BP execs are meeting with the President and members of congress.BP Oil Spill. Photo: http://www.treehugger.com/burning-oil-rig-explosion-fire-photo11.jpg

Why?

So they can tell the American public and the rest of the world this kind of drivel…

"The explosion and fire aboard the Deepwater Horizon  and the resulting oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico never should have happened -- and I am deeply sorry that they did.”

Those were the words of Tony Hayward, BP's now former Chief Executive Officer.

While I suppose Mr. Hayward’s remorsefulness should count for something… they don’t. Sorry Tony, don’t really care if you’re sorry.

What I do care about as do many others is when you say things like this…

"We cannot guarantee the outcome of these operations, but we are working around the clock with the best experts from government and industry.”

I also care when I hear words like these coming from a member of Congress, in this case Henry Waxman, chair of the House Energy and Commerce Committee…

"BP's corporate complacency is astonishing.”

Boy is it troubling to know that you can replace “BP” in that sentence and replace it with any number of other companies and the line would still ring true?

Enron. AIG. Tyco. Wal-Mart. The list is unfortunately endless.

Of course Hayward’s comments pale in comparison to those made by BP chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg

"I hear comments sometimes that large oil companies are greedy companies or don't care, but that is not the case with BP. We care about the small people."

Well zippety-do-freakin-dah… BP cares about the small people.

You’re damn right they do. The small people like you and I of course, are the ones who pay Kevin Costner, star of "Water World" and oil separation machine maker. Photo:http://bluraymedia.ign.com/bluray/image/article/103/1037100/waterworld-20091021001640428_640w.jpg the exorbitant prices for his gas.

At least we used to.

Will leave you with this… can’t take credit for it but it is funny and I wanted to share it with you…

Did you hear about Kevin Costner’s oil separation machine? Apparently he has been building it since the Exxon Valdez spill in 1989. And you know what they say — if you build it, arrogant, profit-hungry corporations with little foresight and no regard for life in any capacity will come!

Steve Olenski is no longer in hiding, and can be contacted at solenski@philly2philly.com