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The Morning After- Eagles Lose to Cowboys in 'Scrimmage'

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Normally there are three certainties in life - death, taxes, and Steve O will do The Morning After for each Eagles game. image

However, thanks to the ole flu bug, yours truly and Joe Vallee are taking it upon ourselves to fill in for Steve in the final week of the Eagles regular season.

Suffice it to say, the NFL's brilliant plan blew up in their faces by scheduling the Eagles and Cowboys twice against each other in the final four weeks of the regular season. Sunday's Eagles - Cowboys game was quite possibly the worst game between these two games in years thanks to Andy Reid's decision to start the B-team against the Cowboys' starters. Jeremy Maclin was the only Eagles' notable to get any action today and he was yanked by the end of the first quarter. If you started him on your fantasy team like I did, then it sucks to be you too.

 Michael Vick, DeSean Jackson, LeSean McCoy, Brent Celek, and basically anybody of any importance on the Eagles offense and defense was held out today. And, I agree with the decision. They have been beat up and need a faux bye week and since this game means nothing it was a no-brainer.

With regards to yesterday's "barn burner" - it's a testament to how bad the Cowboys' team is. The Eagles led this game deep into the fourth quarter 13-7 despite allowing DeMarcus Ware to abuse Kevin Kolb like a rag doll. Watching Ware run through the Eagles' back-ups was akin to watching WWF in the early 1990's when The Undertaker would be matched up against some 150-pound sacrificial lamb off the street. Back in the day the WWF had "filler matches" when the superstars would take on the bottom feeders. Today, Ware was The Undertaker against the Eagles' bottom feeders on the offensive line. Alas I finally got to work an Undertaker reference into an article. Not to mention it gives me an excuse to work in this great clip of The Undertaker on the Regis and Kathie Lee show.

Now, here's Joe's take on the scrimmage Sunday:

Chad Hall- It HAS to be a thrill going from working on F-16 Bombers to catching your first NFL touchdown. Good for him.Mark Valley photo: http://2.bp.blogspot.com

During the commercial breaks, I observed three things:

1. Although I've never watched it, Fox's 'Human Target' sure gets a lot of hype from the network. And come to think of it, the star of the show has a really cool last name...(snicker). Every commercial shows him scoring with hot chicks, and judging by this pic, he seems to be down with animals, too (That's for all the ladies reading this. And according to our research, we have many. Not kidding.....). I could tell you that there is a relation here to Mark Valley and myself. But then again, if you took a look at him and then me, you'd know I was a boldfaced liar. Moreover, he spells his last name differently.

2. Kevin Pollak- Really? Million Dollar Money Drop? What about the days of your awesome movie career: A Few Good Men, Grumpy Old Men, The Usual Suspects, Casino, that hilarious Wayne's World 2 cameo. Don't get me wrong, a paycheck is a paycheck these days. Just very surprising.

3. Bob's Burgers- I'll definitely give this a first view. Hopefully the funniest moments weren't in the commercial.

The "Thank you, Captain Obvious moment of the game"-

Towards the end of the first quarter, the ever observant Moose Johnston (who I actually don't mind as a commentator), reiterated again how much of a big deal the Eagles' loss to the Vikings was Tuesday night and how the 2006 Colts are the only No. 3 seed in the last decade in a half to win a Super Bowl.

It's worse enough that it hasn't even been a week, but just the fact that an ex-Cowboy has to throw this in my face stinks. That game is right up there with the last regular season game in 2009 against Dallas and the 1991 14-13 Tampa Bay loss as the most disappointing regular season losses that cost the Birds playoff implications. Please email me and yell at me because I'm probably missing others if you want, but right now those three stick out in my mind the most.

As far as next week goes, I actualyl see the Birds pulling this one out against thre Packers. With the mulligan you would call today's game, the Birds have looked dreadful the last 7 out of the last 8 quarters they have played and are literally hobbling into the playoffs, but I still see a win. Don't ask me why. Then again, my Super Bowl prediction in 2004 was Eagles over Jets, so what do I know.............

Now back to Dennis...

Not much to take away from this pathetic game other than the fact that only Max Jean Gilles was injured during the game. Big shock there. Is it me or does Max Jean Gilles get injured eating a zep? He is a below-average offensive lineman at best and seems to get hurt almost as much as Stewart Bradley which is a very hard feat.

The Eagles are set to take on the Packers next Sunday at 4:15 at The Linc. Click HERE for the entire NFL playoff schedule.

Contact Joe Vallee at jvallee@philly2philly.com

Contact Dennis Bakay at dbakay@philly2philly.com