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Eagles Don't Pay the Bills - The Morning After

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Morning campers,

Somehow I don't think this was the weekend Loverboy were talking about when they sang "Everybody's workin' for the weekend" do you? Holy Moses this was the classic one-two combination we all took this weekend as the Phillies gave us the blow to the gut and the Eagles delivered the right cross to the chin to put us down for the count. 

Before I get to getting about the Birds, I have to share my thoughts on the Phillies.

Yes they won a club-record 102 games and yes they won the National League East again... which at the end of the day means absolutely nothing. Nada. Zilch. Donuts. I don't give a damn about what any apologist says about this being a successful season.

That's a bunch of crap. The Phillies picked us up and said 'come with us, we're all going to win the World Series, together. We went out and got the best free agent pitcher and there's no one who can touch us.' Ok, the Phillies didn't actually say those words per se, but you know damn well they thought it, and you know damn well all of us thought that way. 

Here's one man's opinions why the Phillies are at home watching Dancing With the Stars instead of still playing...

*Ryan Howard- Ok, I'll start with the obvious. Another post season, another post season the Big Man comes up small... VERY small. Of course he is not the only reason they lost, but it's not out of the realm to wonder aloud if his best days are behind him. And when someone like MQ, a massive Phillies fan who bleeds red, figuratvely as well as literally, openly questions Howard and his ability and desire... that speaks volumes at least to me...

*Starting pitchers not named Roy Halladay- Yes, Cole gets a pass too but Roy Oswalt  and Cliff Lee? Not a chance. Especially Lee. A 4-0 lead at home with Cliff Lee on the mound?  Any Phillies fan, hell any baseball fan would sign off on that in a heartbeat. Yet somehow he managed to blow the lead, and some would say, the entire series in the process. Cliff Lee? Blowing a 4-0 lead?

*The lineup- Yes, Rollins and Utley had nice averages when the series was over and Victorino held up ok too, but collectively? There was no consistent jump, no passion, no fire... Lord does that sound familiar? Could say the same thing about our football team. 

*The manager- Hit and run with Ryan Howard at bat? Really? This was just one head-scratching decision Uncle Charlie made that defied logic. The man knows his team, but perhaps his loyalty is getting a little misplaced the longer he and the core are together.

*2008 World Series Winner
*2009 World Series Loser
*2010 NLCS Loser
*2011 NLDS Loser

Is there a downward trend here or is it my imagination? 

*2012 __________________________?

Ok, I could go on but I will leave the dissection of the Phillies to folks like Joe Vallee who, like MQ, bleeds red and is quite capable of explaining what exactly went wrong with the Phils.

As for the Eagles, let's get to getting... and because A) I'm tired and B) I want to get through as quickly as I can, I'm going all rapid fire this week:

*The last few weeks have been so bad, MQ and I have been hitting up the remote more than usual, and the last few weeks, we've seen some dynamic women's college volleyball matches; yesterday the 'Huskers took on the Hoosiers and it was quite the battle; and yes, MQ & I watch the games purely for the athletic value

*In an attempt to break the spell of horrifcally pathetic Eagles' losses, I went "old school" donning the Frankford Yellow Jackets blue & gold, Brian Dawkins jersey and accompanying hat; and of course all of this amounted to jack squat in the good omen column.

*And they say married couple don't listen to each other? Pre game exchange between color man Brian Billick and play-by-play man Sam Rosen:

Billick: You know Sam, we may see a lot of rotations today as it's unseasonably warm.
Rosen: So do you think the heat will be a factor today, Coach?Eagles don't pay the Bills. Photo: US Presswire

Men.. they never listen, not even to each other. 

*More gems from Rosen and Billick:

(Rosen):
"Eagles bring Steve Smith in as the 3rd receiver on this play." Only problem there Sammy was there were actually FOUR receivers on the field. So close...

*He referred to a certain former Eagles QB as "Randy" Cunningham. Yes, Randy. And no, not a living soul has ever referred to Randall as Randy, as far as I know.  

"Rosen clearly worked too many years with Tim Ryan as he referred to the Eagles Offensive Coordinator as Marty Morn-hen-wheg. 

(Billick):
*Following a rare stop on a run by the Eagles Defense, Billick heaped praise on Cullen Jenkels. Now, I have no idea who this is but I find it odd that the Eagles would have a player named Cullen Jenkins and Cullen Jenkels on the same team. What are the odds?

*It's time to turn the Page, literally. How the hell can someone like Jarrad Page still be playing for the Eagles, let alone ANY NFL team? Week in, week out, he is the poster child for bad tackling and bad positioning. Yes, the Eagles can get anyone off the street to play better. Yes I believe that because yes, this guy is that bad. Enough already. 

*If I were Andy Reid, both Page and Juqua Parker would've been cut on the plane ride home. Right in the middle of the flight I would've stood up, taken the mic from the pilot and made the announcement. "Attention passengers, I'd like to direct your attention to the side exit door by aisle 12. You'll see Jarrad Page and Juqua Parker standing by the door wearing parachutes, at least I think they're parachutes. Well if they're not parachutes, I will assume full responsiblity. But anyway, please take a moment to wish them well as we've decided to cut ties with them. No guys, we didn't cut the ties to your chutes, that's just a figure of speech. Jeezus, I knew these guys weren't that bright but holy crap. Anyway, join me in wishing them well. Best I can guess guys you'll hit the ground somewhere around Scranton. Ok, jump's yours... "

*Before the season Redskins QB Rex Grossman predicted the Skins would win the NFC East. And everyone outside of DC laughed... hystercially. And now? Well...

*What's with the miniature TV commercial concept these days when it comes to former NFL players/coaches? First there wasDeion Sanders photo: nickrbrown.com Deion shrinking down to shill for DirecTV and now Mike Ditka has signficant shrinkage in his spot for Coors Light. I cannot wait to see the mini-Reid spots for Weight Watchers. 

*End of the Eagles first half went like this: 

*They decide to punt with a 4th & 4... from the Bills 37 yard line with 3:22 left in the half. Yes, the 37. They punt. The punt goes into the End Zone so they gain a net 17 yards. What?

*They get the ball back with :39 left thanks to a Jamar Chaney pick and they proceed to run the clock out, led by Mensa member Mike Vick, who first doesn't run out of bounds following a scramble, which forced a wasted play to spike the ball to stop the clock; then with only :07 the same Einstein-esque Vick takes too long to throw the ball way; half over and no time for a field goal attempt. That's brilliance kids. Hell with Vick and that other genius Mr. Parker, the Eagles should send a team to Jeopardy! for the NFL Team Challenge. Two smarter players you will not find...

*Is it me or is Michael Vick looking more and more like Donovan McNabb every week with his accuracy or, ahem lack thereof? I counted at least three passes thrown right into the turf yesterday. 

*Forget about the "Fire Andy Reid" nonsense. It's not that I don't agree with it, but I call it nonsense because it's not going to happen during the season. So forget it. Now, fire Juan Castillo or Michael Zordich (the Birds' secondary coach) may hold more merit for that may happen. Big Red is very loyal but if the call comes from Banner or Lurie to relieve either or both of these of their duties... 

*I heard on a national radio show the other day - BEFORE yesterday's game - that the Eagles have become the laughingstock of the NFL. Imagine what they're being called now. 

'Til next time and as always...

Time's yours. Food's mine.

You can contact Steve Olenski at solenski@philly2philly.com  or follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/steveolenski

More articles from Philly2Philly's sports page:

How Ryan Howard's injury could change the image of the 2012 Phillies

Will Ryan Howard’s career ever recover after his achilles injury and post season failures?

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