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Eagles Jason Avant and Asante Samuel talk with Phantasy Interviews

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Philly 2 Philly Phantasy Interviews

…a Satiric Look Inside What May be in the Head

of Current and Past Philly Sports Personalities

 

Until the comments of the last several days, Jason Avant—a sixth-year receiver out of Michigan—flew mostly under the radar around these parts.

Avant has made himself into one of the better slot/possession receivers in the game, often working the tough areas over the middle to keep Eagles’ drives alive. He was always perceived as quiet, respectful, religious, humble and an all-around good guy.

Has that all changed for him? Not exactly, but it’s not considered a prudent thing to blast Philly fans in general, and Eagles’ fans in particular. Some of the euphoria of the Eagles’ 34-7 home pounding of the Cowboys’  was mitigated by Avant’s calling the Eagles bandwagon fans.

We spoke by phone earlier this morning.

 

Matt:  So, Jason, congrats again on killling the Cowboys. Jason Avant photo: phillysportscentral.com

 

Jason: Thanks. But are you sure that’s why you want to talk to me?

 

Matt: Of course, You’re off to a good start as far as personal stats. After seven games, you already have 31 catches for 400-plus yards. You’re headed for a career year. Any thoughts?

 

Jason:  Well, I don’t have any touchdowns yet. Any reaction?

 

Matt:  I do, actually. Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Jason:  Funny. Very funny.

Matt:  Thank you. But let’s get right to it. Shortly after you guys thrashed the Cowboys, you were quoted as saying, “We look at home games like road games.  We like to get booed by our fans.”

 

Jason:  Well, we do. So what?

 

Matt:  But Jason, do you really want to get your own fans all riled up against you…and right before a Monday Night Football  game at home. Or is it on the road?

Jason: That’s what I said. I’m not taking that comment back. This is a free country.

Matt:  Fair enough. And then you went on to say, "We realize it’s going to be just these guys in the locker room; that’s the way we take it. We don’t want people jumping on our bandwagon now. We want people to go out and still talk bad about us.”

Jason:  So, what’s wrong with that?

Matt:  Nothing. So, how would you like to play in front of an empty house on Monday night—except for those few extra people from your locker room?

Jason: That’s ridiculous. I didn’t mean it literally.

Matt:  But I don’t get why you would consider Philly fans to be the bandwagon types, Sure, we boo here and there. I mean you guys were 1-4 without a real tough schedule and lost games on careless mistakes. But even those who complained out of frustration never jumped off the bandwagon.

Jason: Look, the fans were putting up signs trying to get Coach Reid fired. (almost crying.) That’s my coach, man. He’s our coach. Nobody talks about my coach that way, man.

Matt: I hear the emotion, Jason. You’re not going to go to all TO on me, are you? Did that number 81 rub off on you?

Jason:  No way, man. I just don’t think the fans should be burying us just because we got off to a slow start. I’m trying to rally our troops. It’s us against them.

Matt:  But how did the fans become the “them?’ We’re not in your locker room, but we’re buying tickets, buying jerseys and memorabilia and waiting 51 years and counting for another title.

Jason: And that’s our fault?

Matt;  Nah, not exactly. The fans just want effort and smart play, and an appreciation for the passion we have. Calling us bandwagon fans will not go over well in Philly. We’ve hung in there for a long, long time.

Jason: Yeah, I get it. And there are some faithful fans here. A lot of them, but not all. And speaking of faith, I play my hardest for Jesus Christ and for this team. You going to boo me for playing hard?

Matt:    But nobody was booing you, Jason. You were, are, one of the good guys. Don’t take offense, but you kind of fly under the radar here. Michael Vick, Jackson, Shady, Maclin and those guys are in the spotlight.

Jason: Does that make those guys over the radar?

Matt:    Maybe on the radar…I boxed myself in there. So Jason, if you had to do it over again, would you have called out the Eagles fans and asked them to boo you?

Jason: Look.This is America. I’m not gonna apologize. I have a right to say what I want.

Matt:  And the media and fans have a right to rip you when you say the wrong thing. The thing is, everyone always liked you and nobody really wanted to rip you.

Jason: But you’re ripping me now.

Matt: No, I’m not. I’m just trying to give you a chance to say something that is rip-proof, unrippable, a little bit apologetic even.

Jason: I spoke the truth, man. No need to apologize. Hang on there, Matt. My media advisor said you spoke to him a couple months back. He wants a word or two. Hang on—

Matt:  (thinking out loud) Avant’s media advisor? Who can that be?

Asante: Hey, this is Asante Samuel, media advisor and business entity. You still there?Asante Samuel photo: http://insidetheiggles.com

Matt:    Hey, Asante. What’s up?

Asante: Asante’s fine. Asante’s outplaying his contract again, but Asante will continue to play hard so long as Samuel’s getting paid.

Matt:  That’s good to know. But Asante, you always rate your play in terms of all interceptions only. You only have one this year.

Asante:  Asante was disrespected when those fantasy players in the front office put Asante on the trading block. Asante has been concentrating on tighter coverage and tackling this year.

Matt:    But you’ve always been a risk-taker and a route-jumper out there. Has Asante lost a half-step?

Asante: Asante resents that implication, and thinks that’s a pile of crap. Asante Samuel is a future first ballot Hall of Famer. People just aren’t throwing as much to Asante’s side of the field.

Matt:  That doesn’t make sense to me. The Eagles have two other elite cornerbacks now, and—

Asante: Are you saying that Asante should have been traded?

Matt:    No, I wasn’t saying that. I was just finding it hard to believe that you are being targeted less now that you have guys who can cover opposite you.

Asante; Now, Asante’s getting pissed. I think you’re jumping off the Asante Samuel bandwagon?

Matt:    No, that’s not the case. Matt would never do that.

Asante: Asante’s happy to hear that.

Matt:  Of course, that’s because Matt was never on the Asante bandwagon to begin with.

Asante: You’re mumbling. What did you say?

Matt: I was just asking you about Jason’s comments. Let me rephrase it. Do you agree with Jason that you play for Jesus Christ and for your teammates?

Asante: Jesus who, and what? Asante Samuel is a business entity who plays for Asante, Asante’s family and Asante’s future in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Any more questions for me?

Matt: Hey, I think you just slipped.

Asante: How you mean?

Matt: You just said “me” instead of Asante.

Asante: What’s the difference? Asante’s a “me” guy. We’re synonymous.

Matt:  Yep, you got me there. So, any last words before I wish you good luck against the Bears?

Asante: Yep. Asante may be selfish and he may criticize the front office, but Asante Samuel never dumps on his fans.

A Disclaimer: This conversation with Avant and Asante did not really take place—but is it really all that far-fetched?

 

Along with being a lifelong Philly sports fan, Matt Goldberg is a unique, award-winning  writer, speaker and all-around humorist who resides with his wife and son in South Jersey. He is a featured columnist for the Phillies for Bleacher Report, and is also the author of two new humor books—Wordapodia, Volume One, and All That Twitters is Not Goldberg.

 

For information on ordering books, requesting customized writing, media requests and special events, please contact matt@tipofthegoldberg.com  or visit www.tipofthegoldberg.com

 

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