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Mike Richards and Jeff Carter Discuss Trade From Flyers

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Philly2Philly.com Phantasy Sports Interviews

 

…a Satiric Look Inside What May be in the Head of Current and Past Philly Sports Personalities

 

This week Matt has the chance to sit down with Mike Richards (Richie) and Jeff Carter (Carts) who were just traded from the Flyers. mike richards jeff carter

 

The two friends and longtime teammates had both been with the Flyers’ organization since being drafted in the first round in 2003. The two led the minor league Philadelphia Phantoms to a Calder Cup (title) in 2005, and have starred for the orange-and-black ever since. Until June 23…that was the day when GM Paul Holmgren shockingly traded both of their two top centers away.


Captain Mike Richards will now be playing for the Los Angeles Kings, and alternate captain Jeff Carter will soon toil for the Columbus Blue Jackets.

 

Both players sat down with me for a short interview yesterday, with Richie arriving on time.

 

 

Matt:   How ya doing, Richie? I see that Carts isn’t here yet; do you mind if we get things started?

 

 

Richie:  Okay.

 

 

Matt:  You have been with the Flyers for eight years, since being drafted at age 18. You were the captain, a Stanley Cup finalist and an all-star with a big, long-term contract. How surprised were you to be traded?

 

 

Richie:  Very.

 

 

Matt:  Can you elaborate on that, please?

 

 

Richie:  Yes, I was very surprised.

 

 

Matt:  What will you miss about Philadelphia, Richie?

 

 

Richie:  The Jersey shore, the bars, the media.

 

 

Matt:  The media? Really, Richie?

 

 

Richie:  No. And please call me Mike. Hey, there’s Carts. Pull on over, Carts.

 

 

Matt:   Hey, Carts.

 

 

Carts:  It’s Jeff. Hey what did I miss, Richie?

 

 

Richie:  He wants to know what you’ll miss about Philly.

 

 

Carts:  Me? The Jersey shore, and the bars.

 

 

Richie:  I told him “the media.”

 

 

Carts:  But you hated the media and had Prongs (veteran defenseman Chris Pronger) take all the tough questions.

 

 

Richie:  Hey, at least I talked occasionally. Who did you ever talk to?

 

 

Carts:  I talked to the ladies at CSN.

 

 

Matt:  Yo, guys. May I ask a question or two here?  (silence)  Okay, well, Rich, er Mike, did the Flyers ever talk to you about being more media- friendly?

 

 

Richie:  No.

 

 

Carts:  Mr. Snider did.

 

 

Richie:  Shhh, don’t tell him. I gave interviews when I had to. I just liked to keep things in the locker room.

 

 

Matt:  How would you characterize the Flyers’ locker room?

 

 

Carts: Spacious.

 

 

Richie:  Smelly.

 

 

Carts:  Dysfunctional.

 

 

Richie: Shhh.

 

 

Matt:  Was there any dysfunction, Jeff, between Captain Mike and Prongs, or between Mike and Coach Laviolette.

 

 

Carts:  Nah, I was just kidding, but we could’ve used a real captain.

 

 

Matt:  Any retort to that, Mike?

 

 

Richie:  Carts is just pissed that he got exiled to Columbus. They’ve never even been to the playoffs.

 

 

Matt:  Actually, they made it once in ‘09—once in 10 years, but never won a round.

 

 

Richie:  As if Carts is gonna turn that around. He’s a one-dimensional sniper who plays no D.

 

 

Carts:  Shut up. I lead the Flyers in goals the last three years.

 

 

Richie:  I had more total points and scored all those short-handed goals.Jeff Carter photo: Andre Ringuette- Getty Images

 

 

Carts:  I had a better plus-minus.

 

 

Richie:  I was on the ice more, and I made the Gold Medal-winning Canadian Olympics team.

 

 

Carts:  Yeah, but…

 

 

Matt: Guys, I thought you were best friends, and I also thought that hockey players always had a true team-first mentality.

 

 

Richie:  Well, you know, once you put on the sweater for the organization, it’s all about team.

 

 

Matt: There you go. And you two were always fan favorites who played hard and played well.

 

 

Carts:  And now Richie gets to wear the sweater for the LA Kings’ organization.

 

 

Richie: (laughing) And Carts is playing for a team with no organization. Do they even wear sweaters in Columbus?

 

 

Matt: What do you think the Flyers and their rabid fans will miss most about you guys?

 

 

Carts:  Maturity.

 

 

Richie:  Leadership.

 

 

Carts:  My big goals.

 

 

Richie:  Musta missed those, Which ones?

 

 

Matt:  In fairness, Mike, Let’s see…Jeff Carter…in 47 career playoff games, has scored 13 goals and eight assists, for 21 total points. That’s not very good, Jeff.

 

 

Carts: And what, you were a great NHL star?

 

 

Matt:  Street hockey was my thing. I put so many biscuits in the basket, they had to narrow the baskets…or was it the biscuits? But Jeff, what are

your true feelings about Columbus? They’re still a fairly new franchise, and one that hasn’t had much success.

 

 

Carts:  I don’t like it. It took me five days before I even talked to the media there. But I did text their GM once or twice.

 

 

Richie:  I think he sexted him.

 

 

Carts:  Shut up.

 

 

Matt:  How do you think your game will mesh with their franchise player, Rick Nash, who plays a similar style?

 

 

Carts: Do you or your readers really care?

 

 

Matt: No, not at all. Mike, are you looking forward to playing in LA? They’re also not the hockey town that Philly is.

 

 

Richie:  It’s a new start for me. People forget that Carts and I are both 26, and we have a lot of hockey left in us.

 

 

Matt:  That’s true. But back to Philly for a moment. You both put in six strong years here, and helped make the team a contender for a few of those years. You almost won it all in 2010. Would you have liked to have had more of a chance to win a Stanley Cup in Philly?

 

 

Carts:  That’s a stupid question.

 

 

Matt:  How so?

 

 

Richie: Really stupid, man.

 

 

Carts:  Moronic.

 

 

Matt: (defensively) Why?!

 

 

Richie and Carts (together): Of course we would have!!

 

 

Matt:   That clears that up, thank you. Do you have any parting words for your longtime fans here.

 

 

Richie: Thanks for wearing my Number 18 at the games.

 

 

Carts:  Thanks for wearing my Number 17.

 

 

Richie: Those were old Brind’amour jerseys, dude.

 

 

Carts: Oh.

 

 

Matt:  Anything else?

 

 

Richie:  We tried our hardest.

 

 

Carts: Every single game.

 

 

Richie: Practically.

 

 

Carts:  But our goalies let us down.

 

 

Richie:  All three of them.

 

 

Matt: Very last words, okay?

 

 

Carts:  Bryzgalov (new goalie, Ilya) is no better than Bobrovsky, and he’s getting old.

 

 

Richie: Enjoy Columbus, Carts.

 

A Disclaimer: The above conversation with Richards and Carter did not really take place—but is it really all that far-fetched?

 

Along with being a lifelong Philly sports fan, Matt Goldberg is a unique, award-winning writer, speaker and all-around humorist who resides with his wife and son in South Jersey. He is a featured columnist for the Phillies for Bleacher Report, and is also the author of two new humor books—Wordapodia, Volume One, and All That Twitters is Not Goldberg.

 

 

For information on ordering books (which feature sports humor  requesting customized writing, media requests and special events, please contact matt@tipofthegoldberg.com , or visit www.tipofthegoldberg.com

 

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