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Eagles Dismantle The Rams- The Morning After

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Morning campers,

Welcome back to another year of Eagles football and another year of The Morning After. As per the norm, I come to you directly to the left of the greatest financial mind since James Cash (JC) Penneny, Mark Quinlan (MQ). And as the per his norm MQ served a fine array of delicious dining delicasies to accompany our maiden voyage of Eagles football.The Morning After logo.

Yesterday he took us on a culinary tour of Old Mexico serving up some tacos and enchiladas with the finest meats and cheeses and salsas from around the world.. .or the local Shop Rite, whichever was closer.

Ok, let's get to getting...

SHOW ME THAT SMILE AGAIN...
Ok, who can tell me what 1980s sitcom had those 5 words as the opening for their theme song?

Alan Thicke, Kirk Cameron... give up? Yes, it's Growing Pains. And growing pains are precisely what this Eagles team is going to have this year. Hell yesterday's game may just be a microcosm of the whole year with the Birds starting off slow oN both sides of the ball and slowly adjusting as the game went on.

Believe me patience will absolutely be a virtue for this team and its fans... unfortunately most Eagles fans may be like me in that patience is not exactly something we have an abundance of...
And for the record, this season I picked the Eagles to... well, you have to click here to see for yourself.

PARTING OF THE "GREEN" SEA?...Moses photo: www.curtainrising.com
I know it was Moses who parted the "red" sea but man he had nothing on Eagles LB Moise Fokou who had a major role in the parting of the "green" sea, AKA the Eagles defense on the Rams very first offensive play.

Or to use another biblical reference and quote Wilfred Brimley in the very underrated film 'Absence of Malice,' the Eagles run defense had a leak and "the last time there was a leak like that, Noah built himself an Ark."

There were a whole lot of leaks and parting of "green" seas during the entire 1st quarter come to think of it... but to their credit the Eagles adjusted and closed the leaks and partings thereof, if you will...

SNACK ON DANGER, DINE ON DEATH...
Did you know Rams LB James Laurinaitis, who is one helluva football player, is the son of one half of one of wrestling's most famous tag teams?

Did the "snack on danger" line give it away?

James Laurinaitis is the son of Joe Laurinaitis, AKA Road Warrior Animal, who along with Road Warrior Hawk formed one of wrestling's most popular and flamboyant tag teams ever and their catchphrase was "We snack on danger and dine on death!"

ROCK 'EM, SOCK EM'...robots
Ok, raise your hand if you thought the first time you saw the preview for the new Hugh Jackman movie (Real Steel) the title was going to be Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots?

I know MQ and I both thought it was... when that preview came during a 1st quarter break, I thought for sure we were watching a preview for a movie that was surely going to have that as its title or at the very least have a "based on the popular 1970s game" disclaimer attached to it.

What's next, Operation starring Robert Downey Jr. as the evil scientist who goes around extracting an Adam's Apple, Bread Basket and Butterfilies in the Stomach from unsuspecting victims?

NOT IN MIDSEASON FORM...
It's not just the teams that start off slow, need a few weeks to round into shape, the announcers need some time too to get into mid season form.

I mean how else can you explain Brian Billick referring to Brian Westbrook as "Michael," Mike Patterson as "Mike Peterson" and his creating two new words in the English language: "trickeration" and "specifical."

But perhaps his best "what did he just say" moment came when he was referring to the rankings that he wrote for FoxSports.com in which he listed the Rams as the 24th best team in the NFL coming into Week 1.

"That's too low" he said...

MQ and I looked at each other... Huh? YOU wrote the rankings yourself yet YOU think the Rams are ranked too low. Oh I get it, you're disappointed in yourself...Why was I suddenly reminded of Charles Barkley and his contention that he was misquoted... in his own autobiography!

Yeah now it all makes perfect sense.

It's okay, Coach.. I understand. It was your first game. Just pace yourself, you'll be fine.

ONE MISSUS HIPPY, TWO...
I think the person running the clock in the Rams stadium implemented that tried and true cadence to count down the last few seconds of the 2nd quarter. I mean how else can you explain what took at LEAST 8-10 seconds, only taking 4, leaving the Rams, briefly anyway, with time to run one more play?

I think the guy manning the clock was doing just that... he said out loud even... "Ok, Jimmy I got this one.. OOONNEE MMIISSUSS HHIIPPY, TWOOOO... ok, stop the clock."

Did you catch Big Red's look on his face during all this? If looks could talk his look would have said "LOL, very funny but are you fu%$ing kidding me?"

Fortunately the officials caught on to this dastardly attempt by the Rams to squeeze one more play in before halftime, else all chaos would have ensued..

GRUMBLINGS AND RUMBLINGS...
*For the most part, the Eagles offensive line did a good job as Andy Reid likes to say. Surely helped when the Rams inexplicably went to a 3-man rush, but overall I would say did a good job.

*Run DRC... Not exactly a great first game for Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie but in all fairness he didn't get many reps, either...

*Danny Watkins AND Jaiquawn Jarrett didn't even dress yesterday? Is that right? Your first AND second round picks don't even dress? Was Jarrett hurt? Did I miss that? I know Watkins wasn't hurt. Jeezus, to not even dress... don't want to overreact but wow.

*Rookie center or no, the Eagles clock management on offense was deplorable. Yes, I put that broken record back on...

*How sweet do you think it was for Quintin Mikell to force a fumble as the Eagles were driving for a score? Yeah, I'm sure it didn't mean anything to him, either.

*There was more than one occasion when the best weapon on the Eagles Defense were the collective hands of the Rams receivers. Lord did they drop a lot of balls.

THE BOTTOM LINE...
Time to put on another broken record... "A win is a win is a win..."

I for one had my doubts coming into this game, as I will have heading into the next week's tilt vs the Falcons but the Eagles adjusted, the Rams kept dropping passes and Michael Vick continued to be, well Michael Vick.

Like him, hate him or somewhere in between... you simply cannot argue with his ability as a football player to make plays with both his legs and his arm.

On the turf especially, the Eagles offense poses many threats to opposing defenses. This coming game against the Falcons will not easy as they were embarrassed on the road against the Bears.

That's all for now.

As always...
Time's yours. Food's mine.

 

 

You can contact Steve Olenski at solenski@philly2philly.com  or follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/steveolenski

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Moses photo: www.curtainrising.com