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Redskins drop hapless Eagles To 1-3: The Morning After

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Good morning campers,

 

I'm jumping right in...I am so fed up right now.

 

It is, of course, anything but a good morning - again. For the third time in four games, Eagles' fans are waking up to a not-so-good morning thanks in large part to the head coach and GM of your Philadelphia Eagles, one Chip Kelly.

 

Let me make one thing perfectly clear: Before the season started, I said aloud to anyone who would listen that Chip would either be a pariah or a savior in this town. For this was and is (for the time being anyway,) HIS Philadelphia Eagles.

TMA

They're not your Eagles anymore - they are Chip Kelly's Eagles. These are HIS players. These are HIS coaches. This is HIS everything when it comes to the Philadelphia Eagles.

 

So, while the only thing Chip does NOT do is actually suit up and play - although one could argue he would be an upgrade on the offensive line. This is HIS team.

 

One of the definitions of the word "fraud" is "a person who makes deceitful pretenses; sham."

 

I think that word is quite apropos - at least I thought it was.

 

But in thinking of the best word to describe Mr. Kelly, I like "charlatan" and this definition: "a person who pretends or claims to have more knowledge or skill than he or she possesses."

 

How else can you describe such an epic failure on so many fronts?

 

Offensive line? No worries. We're fine with who we have. We don't need to draft anyone nor sign any free agents. We'll be fine. Yes, I know we signed TWO big name running backs and sure, theoretically, we should provide them with a quality line.

 

And sure, the same could be said for our new quarterback, who is coming off not one, but TWO ACLs. Eh, Sammy B will be fine. He's a gamer. I think he secretly likes getting hit.

 

Kicker? Sure our former kicker sucked - before I forget, I will no longer use a kicker's name in ANY column I write, for they do not deserve the respect. They have ONE JOB: Kick the damn ball. As my boy MQ and my brother, Michael have both espoused recently - can't we just get a kicker from the parking lot before a game?

 

Where was I? Oh yeah, we know our former kicker sucked. But hey, we signed a new kicker, so no worries there, either.

 

Wide Receivers? Hey, I tried to resign Jeremy Maclin. Not my fault. Besides I like our group - they're playmakers. Who is our deep threat? Well, that's a bit overrated. We don't think we need to throw the ball down the field all that much.

 

On defense, hey we got some great linebackers, don't we? Well ok, my boy Kiko is out right now, but this kid's got a bright future ahead of him and our defensive line is stout. They're among the best in the league. Unless you factor in how many times they actually get to the opposing QB, but hey, rushing the passer is overrated.

 

And our secondary, wow. How good are they? Well truth be told, Chip, your secondary, led by team MVP Malcolm Jenkins are playing their collective hearts out. Walter Thurmond is quietly having one helluva season, too.

 

Now, obviously I'm having some fun here, writing in the voice of Chip - an exaggerated voice of course, but the points I make are 1000% accurate, are they not?

 

True or False: Chip Kelly looks like a person who pretends or claims to have more knowledge or skill than he or she possesses? Photo: Oregon Live

 

You damn skippy the answer is a resounding TRUE with a capital T and a capital RUE, as in, we Eagles fans are rueing the day he was even hired.

 

The jig is up, Chip. See, no matter how many smoothies your guys (YOUR guys) drink and how much sports science you throw out there, it comes to one thing and one thing only: Talent.

 

And not only do you and your team not have enough of it, the problem is compounded by the fact that you were SOLELY responsible for accumulating this team in the first place.

 

It would be one thing if a GM had put together this crap. We fans could then call for his head and you would be looked upon as poor Chip, who has to play the hand he's been dealt.

 

Well guess what? You're the freaking dealer! You dealt yourself this dreck.

 

But fear not, Chipper. There will always be a home for you at one of the many college campuses surely to be in need of a head coach next year.

 

You ever been to Texas?

 

'Til next time.

 

Always remember, time's yours. Food's mine.

 

Leave a comment or tweet me @steveolenski

 

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/YQ-DMpLIUBR0AckYX4lOF4SGgDaubxIwq2S32sRD331I6HSpos8ieYnd_h6-T8PSzYxnufB3ls9s8nlgvA21bnYSl6fnLZd3fKIl7L5JmVto9fDNAcfA2x-oTQ

 

Contact Steve Olenski at solenski@philly2philly.com

 

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Photo: Oregonlive.com