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Eagles, Wentz, rout Browns: The Morning After

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Welcome back to another season of Eagles football and The Morning After. Seems like only yesterday we were collectively singing the praises of Chip Kelly, then seemingly overnight helping him pack his bags on the way out of town.

 

Hey, I offered to not only pack his bags but to drive to San Francisco. I readily admit I bought into “In Chip We Trust,” but I had no problem whatsoever of admitting I was wrong, dead wrong.

TMA

 

Chip had to go.

 

And now Sammie Sleeves is gone, too along with many other “chips” AKA DeMarco Murray, Kiki Alonso, Byron Maxwell and many more.

 

New coach Doug Pederson (an Andy Reid disciple) takes over, and clearly patience needs to be a virtue this year, right? I mean, how much can we realistically expect from an Eagles team with a rookie coach AND a rookie QB?

 

It’s not like Carson Wentz is going to come out the first week and…

 

HEEEEERE’S CARSON…

 

I promise not to infuse too many Johnny Carson references this year, but hell, how could I not after Week 1, especially after the 2nd overall pick in the NFL Draft played the way he did? Poise beyond his years doesn’t even begin to cover it.  A TD drive, including an incredibly thrown TD pass on his very first NFL drive.

 

Are you kidding me?

Photo: www.timvp.com

 

Of course, it is ONLY ONE GAME, so ease up on the planning your trip to Canton for his enshrinement. 

 

However, it is worth noting a certain NFL team could have drafted Mr. Wentz if they chose to do so.

 

Apparently, they were not big fans.

 

Cleveland Browns chief strategy officer Paul DePodesta:

 

“We have to make judgments on the individual players and we’re not always going to be right. But in this particular case, we just didn’t feel it was necessarily the right bet to make for us at this time. Again, it comes down to individual evaluation of a player. We will not always be right on those type of things.”

 

That quote appeared on ProFootballTalk.com just a few days ago.

 

But earlier in the year, on Cleveland.com of all sites, was this headline:

 

NFL exec: 'If the Browns draft QB Carson Wentz at No. 2, they'll be set for 15 years'

 

Again, it is only ONE GAME, but if I were Mr. DePodesta, I would hope the next “individual evaluation of a player” works out better than this did.

 

A PINKISH HUE…

 

Seinfeld fans will immediately get this reference, including my Godmother, Jacqui Wilmot – one of the few women who are true Seinfeld fanatics. Trust me, this lady can hang when it comes to Seinfeld trivia.

 

My reasoning for invoking the term is to reference Cleveland Browns head coach, Hue Jackson, who made some moves yesterday that would perplex Big Stein, Kenny Bania and Sue Ellen Mischke – combined.

 

First off, what in the name of Rich Kotite was he thinking when he called for a fake punt? In Browns territory no less! Yeah, line the punter out wide as a blocker, that will not only fool them, but the punter will lay the lumber on someone with a key block to spring them for a first down.

 

Not.

 

Then there was completely inexplicable decision to bring Robert Griffin III back into the game with just a little more than a minute to play, the outcome clearly already decided.  

 

And oh yeah, this was after RGIII got the snot knocked out of him the series before; Leaving the field with his left arm hanging like a sausage in a meat locker.

 

Hey Hue, not sure if you know this or not but here’s two tips, free of charge.

 

1. RGIII is brittle - VERY brittle. Go back and watch the Redskins/Seahawks game from a few years ago to learn how NOT to use him.

 

2. You are the head coach. You. That means you decide who plays. You. Only you. In other words I don’t care how much he pleaded to go back in, tell him to have a seat, good game and we’ll get him next time.

 

Consider this my gift to you, Hue, pinkish or otherwise.


 

 

 

MAY THE SCHWARTZ BE WITH YOU…

 

Kudos to MQ for coming up with this subtitle – and yes, I am back with MQ for our… hell I have no clue how many years we’ve been watching Eagles’ games together. Let’s just say it’s more than one and less than a thousand. Schwartz photo: www.funnyjunk.com

 

But the MQ-inspired subtitle is an homage to new Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz.

 

Known for his very aggressive, play-downhill defenses during his career, he has absolutely brought with him a defensive swagger we have not seen around these parts for quite some time.

 

Going into the season, many pundits, both local and national – believed the strength of this Eagles’ team was on the defensive side of the ball. And despite what we witnessed yesterday with CW playing like a 10-year veteran, I would say that is still the case.

 

In order for the Eagles to win games this year… c’mon say it with me. They will need to have the Schwartz with them.

 

JUST FOR KICKS…

 

Speaking of MQ, there may be no greater hater of NFL placekickers than MQ. He is long on record for despising their very existence. In fact, he has devised a set of rules that, if he were commissioner, would be applied to kickers:

 

Rule #1: All kickers get thrown into one pool- From there, each team can draft and redraft a kicker after every single game. If you want to keep your kicker for more than one week, fine. But more than likely, back into the pool they will go each week, every week.

 

Rule #2: They are not allowed to sit on the bench or fly on the team plane for away games- They must sit in the stands with the fans, a front row seat with steps nearby for easy on/off access to the field. When traveling, they must fly coach and on a different plane than the rest of team. In fact, if they’re really bad, they’ll be forced to sit next to “vegetable lasagna” the whole ride home.

 

Rule #3: They are paid on a kick-by-kick basis- If they make a kick they get $X amount of money. But if they miss, or better still, when they miss, they owe $X amount of money.

 

A bit radical? Maybe.

 

But MQ is steadfast in his beliefs and he will stop at nothing til his rules are enacted.

 

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS…

 

*Jordan Matthews is still the ultimate tease. A phenomenal game? You bet. But two, count ‘em TWO more dropped passes. C’mon Jordy, make up your mind. Are you a star or a stiff? Or somewhere in between?

 

*What in the time of Timex happened during the one Browns offensive play where the play clock not only hit zero before the ball was snapped, but TWO MORE seconds elapsed and still no flag?

 

*I did say this was only one game, right? And truth be told, it was the Browns, so was it really against an NFL-caliber team? That’s debatable.

 

*First coach to be fired. I took a very informal poll – three people, including yours truly (re: who will be the first NFL coach to be fired this year?) Myself, and long time friend of the program, Tom Sylvester, believe it will be Rex Ryan of the Bills. MQ on the other hand, sees Jeff Fisher getting the hook in L.A.  

 

What sayeth you? Let me know in the comments.

 

Ok, I’m out. It’s good to be back.

 

As always, time’s yours. Food’s mine.

 

‘Til next time.


Leave a comment or tweet me @steveolenski


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Contact Steve Olenski at solenski@philly2philly.com

 

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Carson photo: www.timvp.com

 

Schwartz photo: www.funnyjunk.com